I guess you could read what I've written in the photo. Yes, I get so jealous all the time. I don't have the right, I know that, you know that, everyone knows that. But i just can't resist this feeling I have every time you get involve.
So Jealous by Tegan and Sara
I don't want to be part of the problem
I try so hard to get roughed up
Fists on up, it looks that easy
It looks that way to me
It looks that way to you
But then there's you telling me I can
Then there's you screaming say something
I want the ocean right now
I want the ocean right now
I get so jealous that I can't even work
There I am in the morning
I don't like what I see
I don't know how it's become such a problem
Keep you up all night if I try to remain calm
How can they ask why I feel so angry
Do you see my problem if I never explain it
But then there's you asking me how long
Say something, it's taken me so long
Well, I just discovered this beautiful band, Tegan and Sara from Rizza Cabrera. She made a cover of I know I know I know which is a beautiful song. Well, all of the song of Tegan and Sara are beautiful. Not just the rhythm and music, but the lyrics. It's like there's something in every stance and verse of the song. Every album has its different emotions, that you could feel. It tells different stories and faults in every relationship and life that sometimes we messed up and just break everything. But after while, there's hope and courage that would come and change everything.
"But I have to get up and every morning it's a cleanup. All I need is time, time to love you."
So I guess I'm in the mood of writing and everything. I've been listening to Dashboard Confessional since 9pm. And it's 10:30pm already. Haha. Cause these songs are really. REALLY. Every line and phrase is really heart breaking. Strikes right through the middle of my chest, and kills me for a second. I'll give you a verse from a Dashboard Confessional song.
"I'll wait until tomorrow.
Maybe you'll feel better then,
maybe we'll be better then.
So what's another day
when I can't bear these nights of thoughts of going on without you?
This mood of yours is temporary.
It seems worth the wait to see you smile again.
Out of the corner of your eye
won't be the only way you're looking at me then."
One of my favorite songs, from the album The Swiss Army Romance, the title is "Again I go Unnoticed". Try listening to it. You might as well get your heart broken. Hihi. Kiddin' I'm just an emotional kind of person, i think a lot and sometimes too much is not worth it. I think of a lot of things, people, future, past, you. Before I go to sleep, bored, every breath i take. Bla bla
So what do you think with the verse? Maybe we'll be better then. I hope so. Are we okay? Are we not? Are we fine? Are we good? Are we happy? YES. That's the question, Are we happy? A capital of Y, E and S. So I guess, my friends are right, just go with the flow~ It seems worth the wait to see your smile again. But i heard from another song of DC, "What's the sense in waiting?". AGREE! What's the sense? You're not sure if there's still something left for you, just for you. Tell me, is there? Don't tell me there's nothing left for me, cause I've been waiting for almost a fuckin' year now.
I've had enough of this for this day. Enough. But at least I'm happy. You're happy. No problemo amigo.
"It's colder than it ought to be in March and I still got a day or two ahead of me till I'll be heading home, into your arms again."
As you could see, I only post like every month only. That's how busy I am. Haha. I was kiddin'. No, the reason is, I only post here when I really feel bad and everything, you could read my previous entries, and you will understand. I know, no one reads my blog. I don't have enough followers and they're not active anymore, I guess. But I don't mind. So, now? No, I don't feel bad, I had fun today with my friends, my long time friends. Hihi. Its been 4 months since we had a chat and everything, I really missed them like I want to spend the whole night with them. Gahh but of course I can't.
I'm fine, thank you.
Again, we've talked about something for the 100000th time. That again. And I asked them for some advices or what. What do people always tell me? "Just go with the flow" JSYK guys, I've been doing that ever since. For almost a year now. Hey you, could you just give me answers. Please? I really need it. Don't leave people hanging on your pathetic game. Oh, am i right? It's just a game. I know you're better than this.
See? I am fine. Really. #jk
"It's hard to believe that I would let myself get so wrapped in you.There's got to be something that would be worthwhile for me to give to you."
