Heartless?

Why can't you be normal, why can't you be like everybody else. I know, and i do understand that we all are trying to be someone else, change is inevitable. Why are you so complicated in so many aspects in my life? I can't understand you sometimes, but seriously I'm trying. I want to help, i am fulfilling the role you gave me, what you wanted me to be and i respect that.

I get it, i get what you mean, what you want, or whatever you need to be truly happy, but what i don't get it is i think we are all temporary to you. Yes, i am affected, i am part of your life as well, though i am just your friend or whatever level of friendship we have, i am your friend who was with you the whole time. Why can't we be enough. Why can't we all just be happy. One day you will see, that everything in this world has a reason or meaning to our life. You can't just throw it all away like a piece of paper. Were not disposable, we need to be remembered, loved and valued even in the simplest way. 

Learn how to appreciate the things you have in front of you, or you might lose it in time. You need to stop dreaming and it's time to face reality. We are being used and misguided sometimes, all we have to do is be sensible enough. Nothing is permanent, finding consistency and truth can be hard but all i could say is that, you have the freedom to choose who you want to be with and who you wan't to be. There's nothing to worry, cause i would still be your friend.

Get out of that corner, and stop being so terrified with everything. *pats on the back

Untitled

I fell into
a sea of
blankets
hoping I
would drown

instead I
was met
with your
lingering
scent

so I held
my breath
and suffocated
instead 

(c) thesmudgesofmysoul

Sad

Sometimes i get so sad

So sad that I
completely shut down

I stare blankly at the wall
And it doesn't matter what 
you say to me
Because in that moment
I don't exist.

(c) nyctophillia

To build a home

I don't even know how to start this entry, i would say that the first part or the introduction of any writing will always be the hardest part, and the ending would be the best part. 

Weeks ago, my eyes can't help but to burst into tears and my lungs started to breathe in and out smoothly when i finally looked into reality and face the truth. A strike of pain in my heart and opens it up freely from the truth that was gained. I can't seem to live the next day. I finally let go of my hand holding on to the frail cliff and crashed into the cold waters rushing through the sand and stones. I was blinded by the truth and fear. I was voiceless from the sweetest thoughts of yesterday. I can't hear the sadness and happiness of life. All i know is that it doesn't exist not only within my mind, but in my heart as well. It was pierced deeply that i couldn't obliterate or i might as well die knowing that loving a human being could be as hard and daunting as dying.

Too much love has given, but a different side of love was returned. It was all but a confusion and soreness. Save me from the hole of your confusion and madness in life. The mess and wild thoughts of yours, get it all together. 

I held on as tightly as you held onto me. Cause I built a home for you, for me. Until it dissappeared from me, from you.