Get me right

I am not feeling well, emotionally. And so I decided to visit this page and maybe here i can feel a lot better. The problem with me is i attach myself too much to something, and sometimes i end up disappointing myself. What's even worst is that i expect too much, too fucking much. Sometimes I don't know what to feel anymore. Sometimes expecting too much from something makes you look stupid and what's even worst is that it makes you really sad and makes you think that life could be really so unfair. Like everything is taken away from you every day. Like nothing is worth it. Like nothing really wants you to be happy. It feels like everyone is being selfish and a bitch to you. And I fucking hate the way I am feeling right now.


Maybe I just missed being held. Maybe I just needed that feeling that someone really cares for you. That no matter what happens..maybe i just need someone to tell me that everything's gonna be okay. I'm fuckin' scared of what I feel about you, scared that it might be just an illusion. Scared that it won't be accepted. I'm just too fuckin' scared of everything. Don't get me wrong, but hey i am as weak as you. I am not as strong and brave as what you think. I find myself crazy about you, like crazy. I don't feel the hesitation that i should feel. It feels great, comforting and.. I'm sleepy. I can't think right anymore. I wanted to be needed by you and I guess that is just too much to ask for. 

Smother me

Last 2 days of final exams! Yehey! It's fucking overrrr! Sorry for the bad word, i express my feelings too much. lol well anyway, still haven't read the Rizal's articles for my tomorrow's exam, will finish this then I could start reading the long long longgggg define long articles. So yeah, haven't been sleeping completely since last week, too many plates and reading to do. I just can't wait for the weekend, cause I'll be in Hongkong for 1 week, March 25 to April 1 with some of my good friends. That's the update so far since the last time i wrote here. Does it sound like I'm in a hurry? Hahahah cause i feel like i keep on summarizing everything i just wrote ^


I've been thinking lately so much about you, and i don't know why. You're just thereeeeeeeeeeee and i just can't get it off, headfuck! And i get the chills and everything with every move you make and i just can't resist it. As of now I'm not sure what I exactly feel about you, i don't wanna think ahead of this it's too early to say. All I know is, i care about you and i miss you everyday. The moment I open my eyes in the morning you're there, the moment i review for my exams you're still there I can't help but to think how you are right now, what do you do, what are you thinking right now etc. and it makes me mad and crazy, like crazy.


This photo i got from Tumblr describes you so well.

You

Let me be the one who calls you baby all the time. 

White Blank Page

Hello March! The month I've been waiting for a long time now. I just can't really wait for my Hongkong trip with some of my great friends before the summer classes. Oh yeah, summer classes for the start of book writing for our thesis I mean my thesis. It's scaring the shit out of me, doing everything on your own, different from the others, everything is made by you, yourself and the last thing that i kept thinking is who could be my thesis adviser, the more you hate the professor, the more it would come to you! Like whattttt! I know Lord will help me throughout the coming year, being a senior. 


So yeah, a lot has happened from my last blog entry, I've been to Cebu, last February 22-24 all alone in the plane, cause my dad went their earlier, so yeah. It was a great experience, the only reason I've been there is that I can't stand having friends just by meeting them through online, of course I've wanted to meet them personally. I have known them for like more than a year already and yes, I've decided to visit them. The chance of travelling is also a part from my reasons, lol. I have never traveled by plane, and that would be my first time, unforgettable and hilarious! lol The word hilarious, well I'm not referring to the experience, but I was referring that word to me. I think I was just too hilarious to make some big big big, like really huge crack for something that lately I have realized that I think I am too stupid to do that, but I can't do anything about it already. You were all just words oh well I've done it. No regrets, just love. 


Whatever I do, i just keep on coming back to that same old feeling, on that same spot where I just stood there and watched you smile right back at me. That moment when were talking some really weird stuff, childish ideas and thoughts and the most weirdest feeling i could ever feel is when silence eats us all through out the seconds of that moment, and I still don't feel alone. We could talk all day, we could just sit and listen to the unspoken words, i don't care if you really can't express what you really want to say or whatever, just stay, all I'm asking is for you to just exist. I'm fine just seeing you. 




"This is the start of something beautiful, you are the start of something new"