It's not a silly moment

Too much drama,sadness and complicated thoughts written in this blog, are you getting tired of it? Oh no, don't ask me. I've been through it for the last fucking years and it won't go away. I just feel like, whenever there's something good that's about to happen or that moment when i think i found what I'm looking for, in a blink of an eye it was all gone. I can't think of any reason why does it have to be taken away from me? Like i don't deserve it. I am not good for anyone, no one. That's just how I see myself and it breaks every piece of my heart. Yes, it breaks my heart every single time. 

So i might as well change, no not change.. I'm gonna make everything better, put it on the right place, take chances, stop wishing, i need to trust myself more than the others, bury everything that almost killed me and just keep believing on what everything that life has got to offer me. Nothing in life is as easy as we think it is so I should not be looking back at the steps that i made, i need to look forward and face everything and in the end, i will keep on looking up to look for better reasons and answers. 

That is basically my introduction..LOL i was kidding. Last night, i said to myself "Here we go again,i must and should not do this again". I am being trapped again with the ways of my thinking and imagination. I can't blame that person, but it would be you though. You just keep on running through my every second of thought and beating of my heart and i guess i have never burned that page of ours. Does it exist in there? Maybe it is, or it could be but it never started, because you lack the will and trust within yourself. I myself, know for sure that i am not lying to myself. My heart skips every time you blink your eye, you finish a sentence, you speak, you wrapped your warm tiny hands and arms around me. It's flawless and breathless everytime i see you from a far. The feeling that.....that moment gives me, i just can't help myself but to replay it on my mind. It makes my heart come out from my chest and just burst into tears of joy. There are just too many things to describe of what I'm feeling, but it is something indescribable. You are indescribably beautiful and lovely for some reason, you're making me fall for you quite so hard. My body is taking all the gravity from falling too hard from the ground. Let me be permanent and existent in your atmosphere, cause i might not find another you. 


I'm gonna steer clear, I’d burn up in your atmosphere, I'm gonna steer clear. Cause I'd die if I saw you , I'd die if I didn't see you there.